PROJECT VIBRANCY NEWSLETTER
by Stephanie Meyer
May 12, 2025
I had a very uncomfortable conversation with my personal trainer and bodybuilder sister during the pandemic.
I was shifting into coaching because I had so many of my meal plan subscribers ask if I coached so they could learn to create whole days of nutritious and delicious eating beyond dinners.
My sister has been an incredible resource re: nutrition, muscle, and manipulating body weight. She knows of what she speaks.
Bodybuilders are master weight manipulators. They know exactly how to pack muscle onto their bodies, get their metabolism on fire, and then shed fat to lean out for shows.
It's not a mysterious process to them - you eat a ton of protein and carbs and spend a lot of time in the gym lifting really flipping heavy weight because you do not build muscle and get ripped eating barely anything, of course.
And so, you have to make peace with gaining weight at first, trusting that as you build serious muscle, you start torching your own body fat because your metabolism starts to roar. Muscle = metabolism.
That means that the leanness we associate with bodybuilders comes because a significant amount of muscle is built, not before.
The muscle you build burns calories at rest. The fact that you can lift heavier and heavier weight means you burn more calories in workouts.
You literally become a very strong, calorie-burning furnace.
As you get close to a show, you temporarily drop into a calorie deficit to hasten the fat-shedding effect, so you can see (and be judged on) the muscle you've built.
You keep protein very high, carbs at a functional level, and you pretty much eliminate calories from fat. It's not very delicious or fun, or even very healthy, but it's effective. You keep most of your hard-earned muscle, despite the calorie deficit, because you keep training and keep protein intake high.
After the show, you decide how much of the muscle and fat loss you want to maintain and adjust your training and carb/fat calories accordingly. No one walks around at their show level of extreme leanness.
That's it! It's simple but not one bit easy, obviously.
It takes an enormous amount of time and discipline to prep all that food (restaurant food is a big no - it's way too high in fat and calories) and be in the gym that many hours per week.
And it requires a ton of sleep too. There is no building muscle without serious rest and recovery time. When you're prepping for a show, you don't really go out or have a life. You eat and train and sleep like it's your job...because it is your job during that time.
It's a fascinating process of body composition manipulation, but the average health seeker isn't interested in pushing their body to that extreme.
I know that I'm not.
But that doesn't mean we can't learn a few very important takeaways from the process.
Adequate calories/protein + weight training = building muscle = burning more calories at rest and in workouts = fat loss.
Hold that in your mind because I have an important question for you, below.
OK so back to the uncomfortable conversation.
As we tossed ideas back and forth about what coaching might look like, my sister said, "I myself would not be interested in only losing 5 or 10 pounds if I was looking for coaching. I'm actually not interested in nutrients. But that's me - when I train, I train hard for a tough physical goal that's really going to push me. I'm in or I'm out, I don't really enjoy the middle."
I was like, "Dude, that is a huge revelation. Huge. You basically just described the average American perspective on health, wellness, and nutrition. This is really important to contemplate."
We are a country of either all in or completely out. It's either strict deprivation competitive performative fitness or bowing out because we've been convinced fitness needs to be miserable or it won't work.
Helloooooooo, where is the middle?
Where is the pretend-we-live-in-Europe vibe, where we're naturally trim and eat fresh food we actually enjoy, and walk a lot, and eat at tables, and ride our bikes, and don't feel guilty about rest?
I want that life. I want results, I want to feel great, but I don't want to live in a punishing deprivation/abandon/deprivation/abandon loop. I find it exhausting.
Right?!
She said, "I get what you're saying, but that doesn't light me up the way it lights you up. I don't get excited about moderation. I need things to be hard for me to get motivated and feel a sense of accomplishment."
And we laughed our asses off marveling at our yin/yang existence and how it's always been that way.
I am the trusting optimist to her skeptical constant vigilance. I am the moderate to her hard-pushing badass. I am the avid walker to her triathlete/sprinter/bodybuilder. I am the rule follower to her iconoclast.
As she quipped in her maid-of-honor speech at my wedding, "Stephanie is the boring one." She brought the house down.
But the truth is that we have always balanced each other out and encouraged each other toward compromise. (Typing this makes me miss her horribly; I'm trying to woo her to Denver.)
It really did blow my mind to see health and fitness through her eyes. It is very American - in good and not-so-good ways - to be all in and driving hard or completely checked out.
And so, I ask you this question:
| What camp do you fall in? |
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If you've worked with me, you'll recognize that we utilize those body building principles but with a much lighter touch. A moderate way.
Don't get me wrong, we pay attention and learn to get adequate protein and carbs to stabilize appetite and build muscle with the goal of revving up midlife metabolism.
We focus on resistance training and walking and recovery for the same reasons. After appetite is stabilized and a good groove of simple, delicious food prep is established, we have three options to explore for losing body fat (build more muscle, move more, and/or drop calories a bit without firing up cravings).
But my clients aren't aiming to compete on stage or to suffer for 10% body fat. They're aiming to feel good in their clothes and in their body.
They're aiming to improve nutrient density in a way that provides mealtime clarity, eliminates fatigue, turns the volume down on cravings, improves health markers, gets them off meds, improves gut health, and lowers their risk for cancer, heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, and Alzheimer's.
Some are learning how to eat nutritiously while taking GLP-1 medication.
All are aiming to not be hungry and tired all day while gaining weight, which is exactly what happens to the average American woman in midlife because she's losing muscle, battling cravings, and gradually losing her ability to torch calories.
While my sister isn't terribly interested (LOL), I encourage you to find the happy middle, where both good health and pleasure live.
By all means, if playing at the extremes is your jam, there are a lot of expensive trainers and coaches out there who will train you into leanness by having you eat protein like it's your job and train hard 5x per week. Get ready to eat a lot of chicken breasts and whey protein shakes.
But if pretending you live in a European city is more your jam, then aim for eating balanced, real-food, colorful meals three times per day.
Cook simple meals at home most of the time. Prepare extra when you cook to set up your next meal and save time. Walk and walk and walk (and walk). Go for bike rides. Spend afternoons kayaking or hiking or exploring. Play pickle ball. Swim in a lake. Walk to run your errands. Plan active vacations.
Use the body building principles I outlined above to lose weight (strength train and eat enough protein and carbs to build muscle, move as much as possible, cut back on alcohol and restaurant calories), but in an enjoyable and sustainable way. Make sure you get good sleep.
In other words, create a vibrant lifestyle.
If you're intrigued, click here to make it your lifestyle.
If you want to be hardcore, I can put you in touch with my sister. (Just kidding, she spent the pandemic banging out a law degree and she's off and running on a new career. See above hard-driving iconoclast references ha.)
As I've written about previously, since my move to Denver several months ago, I've been in a purposefully quiet, focused period I like to think of as a Stephanie sabbatical. I know it won't last forever, but I've been enjoying setting up my new home, working a lot, walking and exploring, and not spending much time socializing or being in the public eye.
Well.
My dear friend Susie Shubert offered to do a tarot reading for me, a gift she offered me for my birthday. We finally got around to it a few weeks ago.
Suz (as I call her) is a certified life coach, author, and creative writing instructor who felt drawn to learn about the tarot several years ago. She and I became fast friends almost 25 years ago when our kids were in kindergarten together and all four of us - two moms, two kids - were obsessed with Harry Potter (we all still are, actually!).
Suz doesn't do tarot readings to tell fortunes - she uses them to create a conversation about places in your life were you'd like to get unstuck and move forward and what that might look like.
Each time we do a reading together, it blows my mind. This last time, my interpretation of our conversation landed on...
...it's time for your sabbatical to end, Stephanie. It's time to get back out into the world.
It made me incredibly emotional.
I have needed this time to rest and recover, from my move, from my mother's death, from closing a huge chapter of my life without knowing exactly what the next one was going to look like.
I still don't know. But I do know that I won't truly discover it while I'm turned quite so inward and being so quiet.
And so. My time of rest is drawing to a close. And I am so grateful that I had someone as gifted and wise as Suz to gently guide the conversation and help me think of the next steps I need to take.
I absolutely love being coached! Coaching has changed my life more than anything else I've ever done (and I've done it all). Therapy is great, trauma therapy in particular is great, studying is great, but a coach guides you to take specific action and holds you accountable and nothing changes without action, does it?
If you love a hint of magical woo (who doesn't?) mixed in with your guidance and action steps, read more about Suz here. She can totally unstick you and blow your mind, too!
Speaking of friends, another dear friend, Joy Summers (I call her Joyce Ummers) came to visit me in Denver last weekend.
We talked and laughed, strolled and explored, and did some cooking. She baked us the MOST delicious gluten-free parsnip cardamom date cake and I can not stop thinking about it.
She baked it into two small loaves and took one of them home to her 10-year old daughter, who requested it for her birthday party, hahaha. Joy is a long-time food writer and fantastic cook and it really is fun to watch the kids of my cheffy, foodie friends grow into total food nerds too. A kid who wants parsnip cake for their birthday! I love it so much.
Parsnips are so peppery and delicious with cardamom, wow is that a match made in heaven. Could you make this cake with carrots and just cinnamon? Sure. But you'd be missing out on being totally bougie. Trust us. Plus it's nutritious to boot!
Parsnip Date Cardamom Cake
Serves 8, optimistically 10
Ingredients:
2 peeled and grated medium-sized parsnips
6 medjool dates, pitted, coarsely chopped, and soaked for 30 minutes in hot coffee (or boiling water)
1 stick butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon ground cardamom
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup gluten-free all-purpose flour (I like Bob's Red Mill 1:1)
1/2 cup almond flour (Bob's Red Mill is great here too)
1/4 cup chopped walnuts (optional, but very delicious)
Make the cake:
1. Preheat oven to 350°F and grease a standard loaf pan or 2 small loaf pans. (If loaf pan is very dark metal, turn heat to 325°F and plan to bake the cake a bit longer.) If your pan isn't nonstick, line it with parchment paper.
2. In a large bowl, combine shredded parsnips and drained dates. Set aside.
3. Add butter to a small saucepan set over medium heat and brown butter, stirring frequently, until butter foams and brown flecks begin to appear in the foam (the butter underneath will be browned, watch it carefully). Cool butter for a few minutes until it's just warm. Pour over parsnips and dates.
4. Add sugar and eggs and stir to thoroughly combine. Add baking soda and powder, salt, spices, flours, and walnuts and stir until thoroughly combined.
5. Pour batter into greased pan. Bake for 40-45 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean.
6. Cool pan on a rack for 15 minutes. Run a knife around the edge of pan and invert cake on rack to cool completely.
Well there you have it!
Learn to think about health like a moderate European, not a deprivation-badge-wearing American.
Get unstuck and gain clarity on next steps with a tarot reading.
And remember:
Don't let yourself stagnate and let go of your goals and dreams, especially not right now.
Bake and enjoy a lovely slice of Parsnip Date Cardamom Cake - with brown frigging butter! - and enjoy a slice outside.
I've been saying this on social media quite a lot but when times are stressful, double down on getting healthy and being marvelously, nerdily creative. (I went and started a whole new Instagram account @softautumnglow just to express nerdy creativity and my love of seasonal color theory for pure stress relief and fun.)
Continue to focus on future plans. Don't let doomscrolling and bad news steal your joy. Stay present to what's right in front of you and take small actions that feel good.
As I remind my clients, you can not solve the world's problems. But you can take exciting and new action in your own life that feels really good and purposeful.
It is more imperative than ever to be healthy and strong.
It is more imperative than ever to stay in touch with friends and family. To do simple entertaining with fresh and lovely food. To meet for coffee and hug people you love. To get on the phone (not just text) and laugh with friends who live far away.
If you get value from my newsletter, I would so appreciate your support of it. I put a lot of time and effort into creating something that leaves you with ideas to ponder, recipes to make, paradigms to shift, and actions to take.
And if you're ready to get serious about shifting your health, nutrition, and metabolism, click here to work together 1:1 over 4 sessions and get. it. done.
I promise I'll make it lovely and effective without making you suffer.
xoxo Stephanie
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